I want cookies and sex
I don’t under stand racism
because people are like eggs
some have light shells and some have dark shells
but there’s no point differentiating them
because they all taste the same once you crack them open and empty their guts on the frying pan
Wait until the vegans find this.
im dropping out of school to become a full time piece of shit
I have honestly never heard the word ‘dork’ used without it being affectionate
in fifth grade we had a project where we had to design our own utopia and mine was in the future where everyone lived in the clouds and i guess men had gone extinct so everyone was a girl and they reproduced with genetic cloning?? and everyone had cool hair and bright colored dresses but let me just repeat 10 year old me’s idea of an utopia was lesbian cloud heaven, i was so gay wtf
- Guy: Hey can I hear 'Teenage Dream'? We need music to cuddle to.
- Radio DJ: Sure! Hey Katy Perry is pretty hot right? Wouldn't mind cuddling with her right?
- Guy: Uh, yeah, sure.
- Radio DJ: What's your girlfriend's name buddy?
- Guy: .... His name is Patrick.
It sucks how much one bad relationship can ruin you
What’s amazing is how one person can put the pieces back together
I feel emotionally drained and unstable, so I’m insisting on dyeing my hair super light to radiate my lack of mental stability.
The Teletubbies unmasked
EVERYTHING I HAD EVER EXPECTED OR HOPED FOR
I TOTALLY DISREGARDED THE FACT THAT THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THOSE COSTUMES
im not even fucking kidding i just
there were PEOPLE in there
oh my god
my entire life has been a lie
appropriate things to say when a teacher asks if you have your homework:
- mind your own business
- who are you
- don’t worry about it
- where am i
- hhhh hh
- no thank you
- dont force your religion on me